It has been a couple of weeks since my last post because life just went ahead and got crazy on me. I had a girls trip in Nashville the first weekend of June and then I flew last minute to California to support one of my best friends through a tough time. Being in California was fun and sad all at the same time. I had a great time with some of my favorite people, despite sad circumstances, but being there as an adult was also a lot harder than I thought it would be.
I grew up in a smaller town in Northern California called Windsor. It’s in Sonoma County and it’s a beautiful little town. The friend I went to see lives in an even smaller town in the Sierra Valley up near Reno, NV and some of my best memories are there. Being there again was this weird conflict of emotions that I think so many people feel but no one really talks about.
We moved to the Atlanta area when I was 15 and I found myself wondering what my life would have been like had I not moved. I wondered where I would be, who the people around me would be, and what I would be doing. To be honest, it made me really sad that I would never know what a life like that would be like.
Reading this, it may seem like I’m totally ungrateful for what I have and for where I am, but that is my point exactly. I think it’s ok to feel that way and feeling that way doesn’t mean that you’re not happy where you are. It is so important to appreciate your life for what it is right now, but it’s also ok to reminisce on good memories. The difference is making sure that you aren’t trying to live in those memories. When you do that, you start to devalue what you have and that’s no way to live.
I was really struggling with this yesterday so I talked to some girlfriends about it. One of them quoted Dumbledore (she’s a self proclaimed Harry Potter nerd) and the quote was just so fitting.
““It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.”
Life keeps on moving and it can be scary and sad and hard and fun all at the same time. Remember where you came from, remember the fun memories, but don’t forget to enjoy the present.